 A new chapter!  Monday, May 30
I know I hadn't blogged in age so officially clearing out the cobwebs seems to be in order.
So many changes in my life!
First up - in less than 12 hours, I'd be starting a new career which officially ends my 4 years of dealing with our feathered friends. This time I'll be dealing with the human EYE. Haha.. Talk about an interesting career change. It seems like interesting jobs and I have an affinity with each other huh. It was an emotional time for me, breaking the news of leaving to my boss and colleagues. Peeps I've come to love during my time in the company. I know i disappointed quite a few souls when I made my decision to leave, but honestly, the world is a selfish place and I really need to care about my own interests over that of others, no? Anyhow I hope it's all fine and good now between me and the company and I'm glad I managed to clear some of the air before I left. Well, at least I hope I did.
On to something different altogether. Our new place is almost ready! We should be getting our keys in a couple of months time and I've started looking around for ideas, concepts even ID companies and comparing contractor work vs hiring an interior designer. I'm excited yet apprehensive about the arrival of our home. Coz honestly, I don't know if we're ready to live on our own. And how we're gonna manage the additional burden of household duties and financial obligations. Also, secretly I'm pretty affected by the fact that he's been rather negative about the house. Complaining about the size, the exorbitant price as compared to a small condo, the ugly architecture and other complains too minor to put into words. I mean, it is after all our first home. Couldn't he be a little kinder in his words? And at least show some amount of enthusiasm? Sigh.
Shyann's going to Primary 1 next year. She's gonna be 7...... Where did all those years go to?! Gosh. They really do grow up so fast. Today she told me she really really loves me with so much adoration and love in her eyes, I flew to the moon and back. Some day, perhaps 10 years from now, when she shouts "I hate you!" to me, I will pull out this beautiful archived memory and relive it. Knowing that at one time I was the centre of my little girl's universe and nothing else mattered more than crazy tight hugs and rubbing noses together with mommy. When the love she has for me is materialized through scratchy I LOVE MOMMYs and beautiful stick figurines of princesses and queens (thats you and me mommy!) Once, when I called her baby girl, she laughed and told me she's not a baby anymore. I told her she will always be my baby girl. Always always always. Till the day she gets her heart broken for the first time, the day she says I do, the day she moves out of our home, the day she has her first baby, the day she becomes a grandma, the day I die. My baby girl forever. :)
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12:27 AM | | back to top
Basket of woes Tuesday, September 28
It's 2 in the morning and I can't sleep. Despite feeling a little under the weather and that I hadn't had decent sleep in weeks, I just can't seem to find the peace I normally would try to achieve before bedtime.
So much has happened hasn't it? I've been to cairns and back. 9 days in quiet cairns, of which 3 were spent diving in the great barrier reef. Eventful trip, this one, since we travelled with 2 of our clients. Seen, heard, learnt so much during the trip. realized how humans are really at the mercy of our own emotions. Rationality has no chance against emotions. And it could really swing both ways.
Of the many matters bothering me, von's pregnancy bothered me the most. When she texted me about the pregnancy, I was in church.. Immediately I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer to thank God for his gift. I was so happy because I know how precious these little darlings are. And just as I have a beautiful family, I wanna wish the same for one of my closest friends. Having another baby would make them perfect.
But fate is often cruel in it's own way. She miscarried shortly after and till today I keep thinking about the unborn child (some may argue it's a foetus but as long as it had the propensity to become a baby it was a life to me). Perhaps the baby wasn't well enough in the first place. But I know exactly what Von meAnt when she told me she rather she didn't know about it in the first place.
Babies aside, the big secret we've been keeping for a year is finally out. As the old saying goes, a fire can never be smothered by paper. I mean who are you kiddin with the lies and deceit? Another lesson well learned. Politics doesn't stop at the workplace and is present even amongst friends. There will always be sluts and blabbermouths amongst us; all we can do is be careful in the things we say to these people we "trust" and hope they never betray us. From all these the sufferer is always the victim. As much as she is hurting, I'm hurting along with her. But we know eventually the sky will turn blue and life will go on..
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
2:27 AM | | back to top
Friday, July 9
Jack's Place reminds me of you.
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
2:26 PM | | back to top
And I'm waiting.... zzz.... Tuesday, June 29
Here I am, in the dead of the night, waiting for my phone to finish swapping to the new iOS4. Falling asleep while typing this, wishing I didn't have to work tomorrow...
Well I must say I am definitely feeling alot better than I did last week. Coz today wasn't a crappy Monday to begin with. Which was good, coz I hate crappy mondays.
And I did some online shopping! Online shopping is scary I tell you. You can never control yourself coz you'd be using paypal or your credit card most of the time. And it's so easy! You just gotta click away! So an over-zealous me blew another $100+ on ridiculous spree items, lusting over my miu mius and balenciagas, hinting to the hubs to get me my mughetto bow bag. For any bag lover, you must visit The Purse Forum which has all the information you will ever need or want, from all the premium brand bag gurus around the world! Have to thank the sister in law for recommending such a jewel to me.
Von's coming home soon - in 11 days to be exact! Can't wait to see her, and Dallen my lil godson! Missed just having the 3 of us around - Man, Von and me... Just for a day though, we'd have each other for company :)
Phone's updated! Time to play with it a little before I hit the sack... Nightie!
1:37 AM | | back to top
to be? or not to be? Wednesday, June 2
Had a 2 hour chat with the boss today and I must say I left the discussion feeling somewhat disappointed in myself, in my abilities and just plain depressed.
The prep talk was basically about whether or not I was able to make sacrifices for what is about to come soon - giving up my family for work. To be an effective manager and an eventual GM, I need to spend more time forecasting future plans, ways to make the company operate better, thinking about things everyone else doesn't wanna think about - finances, marketing & sales strategies, operation effectiveness, liquidity, cashflow etc.
He reckons I'm capable of doing it. Without a doubt. And he's willing to remunerate me well if I can pick up this responsibility.
Now, all that sounds fine and dandy except there is a flip side to it. I usually don't have the luxury of thinking during the course of my day. We're always busy fighting fire day in and out. So the only time I have to really sit down and brainstorm is in the evenings, when no one will bother me with their problems.
And if I spend every evening in the office thinking about what no one else wants to think, I am trading that in for precious time with the kids. Time, which the boss so accurately picked up, is important to me. And he's right; this society has expectations of a mother. And one who gives all her time to work neglecting her motherly duties is usually frowned upon.
But will I give that up for a position of power? One where I know I can triple my salary? Would I shut this opportunity which presents itself, because I wanna be there for the children while they grow up?
I'm depressed because I know it all boils down to my decision. The boss says I can choose to stay where I am and be comfortable in the position; or I could step up to accept this role which he intends to mould me into. But I need to make the decision. Yes, or No?
The hubs says the choice is mine to make and no one should pressurise me to decide. I'm sceptical. Because at the end of the day, his life will be most affected if I'm not around all the time. And that will lead to a whole lot of marital problems which I'm not even gonna go into. Do I wanna complicate my life with more money and a comfortable lifestyle, but marital issues and distance from my kids?
I really can't think anymore... Its like my brain's all choked up and closed off from everything people say.
Sigh. I wish God would tell me what to do.
9:28 PM | | back to top
Insomnia Wednesday, May 12
Its almost 2 in the morning on a weekday night and I'm lying in bed playing with my phone, begging for the eyelids to start drooping. The queer thing is that I'm so sleepy during the day but I can't seem to wanna sleep early at night. What's wrong with me?!
Anyhow since I can't seem to get that stupid brain of mind to cease operations for the next 15 mins at least, here's just something to get off my chest.
I believe:
That when a mistake is made, and it's beyond your control, quit blaming yourself and move on. Conversely, when you have the ability to manipulate the situation but chose not to, then you deserve the tongue lashing or whatever repercussions come with it. It's abit more complex when you have a 3rd party, or what I would like to call "barrier to success". Then the definitions of "whose fault is it?" gets blurer. And it's darn shit when you get buttered for the 3rd scenario.
That respect and trust cannot be given; it is earned. And it is not what you say, but what you do that matters.
That the advice "don't think so much" is the lousiest, most insensitive, patronizing thing to say during another person's time of despair.
That wallowing in the past doesn't bring you anywhere. Because time stands still for no one!
That men with a slight cleft in their upper lip can actually be quite sexy :D
Finally! The eyelids r heavy. Good night world...,
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
2:12 AM | | back to top
Hee...
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
1:51 AM | | back to top
My hubs turns 35! Friday, March 26
Just made it in time to wish you a happy birthday once more! You're snoozing next to me now, and I'm recollecting the events today... A relaxing spa treatment in the morning, lip-smacking eat-till-you-gag dim sum buffet at yum cha, a 3d movie how to train your dragon with my folks, and to end a great day, supper at shokudo.
You know it makes me glad to know we can have a day all to ourselves - eating, talking, relaxing... And one as memorable as your birthday! Maybe if we started the day earlier we could have had time to snuggle up abit! Footnote to self: wake up earlier for special occasions! Especially those i had to take leave for .
Although I know work is always at the back of your mind, thank you for giving me this chance to create some special memories, just the two of us. I really enjoyed myself today, and i hope you did too! We should really do this more often, the you and me time :)
May the Lord bless and keep you. May he shine his face upon you! Have a blessed and peaceful year ahead tatty.
Love you always n forever.
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12:10 AM | | back to top
The past will never be relived Monday, March 15
I don't know how to bring this important message across to you. All I know is I feel so extremely wronged, but am unable to get my feelings across.
Do you know how they say things that happened in the past makes you a better person today? I believe I am so because of all I had been through. Along the way we win some, we lose some.
Believe it or not, I honestly won't trade what I have today for anything else in the world.
And may I reiterate once more, the past is just that - the past. It happened once in history, and will remain as a distant part of a memory. It will never be relived because the world had moved on. And so did I.
My life is here, with you.
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
12:13 AM | | back to top
When enough is enough. Saturday, February 20
I'm keeping scores.
Me: 0 You: 3
Let's see how much longer this will hold out.
Till then, it's mum for me.
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
2:26 AM | | back to top
Ash Wednesday Wednesday, February 17
It's ash Wednesday today - a day if penance & abstinence. Some say it's a great time to reflect on our own mortality and thank god for blessing us with a rich and filling human life.
I made a pact with god in church earlier on. I told him I would be a better evangelist than I am now in return for helping me with my most worried problem. It doesn't sound very right, this barter trade with god. Afterall he never asks for anything in return. But it doesn't seem right to ask but never give right? So I told god i needed to be more loving, less judgemental, more thinking rather than speaking. And even though I didn't ask for all these directly, I asked to be more cautious and for god to remind me ever so often on the checklist to be a better person.
But I guess he wasn't listening cause no sooner did I leave church, I started having some petty argument with hubs. It seems really ridiculous, the things we argue about. And I finally found the word I was looking for. I'm a SHREW.
He says I'm grumpy, always complaining, never with a good word. Better off not talking. Then perhaps that's what I should do. I mean, if it prevents the arguments right? And I can't believe he said what he said to me in front of a friend! Too shocked to react I just let it pass.
I really need to have some motivation to wanna change things and God, I know that's where you come in.
So help mr, I beg you God.
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
11:54 PM | | back to top
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A new chapter! Monday, May 30
I know I hadn't blogged in age so officially clearing out the cobwebs seems to be in order.
So many changes in my life!
First up - in less than 12 hours, I'd be starting a new career which officially ends my 4 years of dealing with our feathered friends. This time I'll be dealing with the human EYE. Haha.. Talk about an interesting career change. It seems like interesting jobs and I have an affinity with each other huh. It was an emotional time for me, breaking the news of leaving to my boss and colleagues. Peeps I've come to love during my time in the company. I know i disappointed quite a few souls when I made my decision to leave, but honestly, the world is a selfish place and I really need to care about my own interests over that of others, no? Anyhow I hope it's all fine and good now between me and the company and I'm glad I managed to clear some of the air before I left. Well, at least I hope I did.
On to something different altogether. Our new place is almost ready! We should be getting our keys in a couple of months time and I've started looking around for ideas, concepts even ID companies and comparing contractor work vs hiring an interior designer. I'm excited yet apprehensive about the arrival of our home. Coz honestly, I don't know if we're ready to live on our own. And how we're gonna manage the additional burden of household duties and financial obligations. Also, secretly I'm pretty affected by the fact that he's been rather negative about the house. Complaining about the size, the exorbitant price as compared to a small condo, the ugly architecture and other complains too minor to put into words. I mean, it is after all our first home. Couldn't he be a little kinder in his words? And at least show some amount of enthusiasm? Sigh.
Shyann's going to Primary 1 next year. She's gonna be 7...... Where did all those years go to?! Gosh. They really do grow up so fast. Today she told me she really really loves me with so much adoration and love in her eyes, I flew to the moon and back. Some day, perhaps 10 years from now, when she shouts "I hate you!" to me, I will pull out this beautiful archived memory and relive it. Knowing that at one time I was the centre of my little girl's universe and nothing else mattered more than crazy tight hugs and rubbing noses together with mommy. When the love she has for me is materialized through scratchy I LOVE MOMMYs and beautiful stick figurines of princesses and queens (thats you and me mommy!) Once, when I called her baby girl, she laughed and told me she's not a baby anymore. I told her she will always be my baby girl. Always always always. Till the day she gets her heart broken for the first time, the day she says I do, the day she moves out of our home, the day she has her first baby, the day she becomes a grandma, the day I die. My baby girl forever. :)
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
12:27 AM | | back to top
Basket of woes Tuesday, September 28
It's 2 in the morning and I can't sleep. Despite feeling a little under the weather and that I hadn't had decent sleep in weeks, I just can't seem to find the peace I normally would try to achieve before bedtime.
So much has happened hasn't it? I've been to cairns and back. 9 days in quiet cairns, of which 3 were spent diving in the great barrier reef. Eventful trip, this one, since we travelled with 2 of our clients. Seen, heard, learnt so much during the trip. realized how humans are really at the mercy of our own emotions. Rationality has no chance against emotions. And it could really swing both ways.
Of the many matters bothering me, von's pregnancy bothered me the most. When she texted me about the pregnancy, I was in church.. Immediately I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer to thank God for his gift. I was so happy because I know how precious these little darlings are. And just as I have a beautiful family, I wanna wish the same for one of my closest friends. Having another baby would make them perfect.
But fate is often cruel in it's own way. She miscarried shortly after and till today I keep thinking about the unborn child (some may argue it's a foetus but as long as it had the propensity to become a baby it was a life to me). Perhaps the baby wasn't well enough in the first place. But I know exactly what Von meAnt when she told me she rather she didn't know about it in the first place.
Babies aside, the big secret we've been keeping for a year is finally out. As the old saying goes, a fire can never be smothered by paper. I mean who are you kiddin with the lies and deceit? Another lesson well learned. Politics doesn't stop at the workplace and is present even amongst friends. There will always be sluts and blabbermouths amongst us; all we can do is be careful in the things we say to these people we "trust" and hope they never betray us. From all these the sufferer is always the victim. As much as she is hurting, I'm hurting along with her. But we know eventually the sky will turn blue and life will go on..
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
2:27 AM | | back to top
Friday, July 9
Jack's Place reminds me of you.
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
2:26 PM | | back to top
And I'm waiting.... zzz.... Tuesday, June 29
Here I am, in the dead of the night, waiting for my phone to finish swapping to the new iOS4. Falling asleep while typing this, wishing I didn't have to work tomorrow...
Well I must say I am definitely feeling alot better than I did last week. Coz today wasn't a crappy Monday to begin with. Which was good, coz I hate crappy mondays.
And I did some online shopping! Online shopping is scary I tell you. You can never control yourself coz you'd be using paypal or your credit card most of the time. And it's so easy! You just gotta click away! So an over-zealous me blew another $100+ on ridiculous spree items, lusting over my miu mius and balenciagas, hinting to the hubs to get me my mughetto bow bag. For any bag lover, you must visit The Purse Forum which has all the information you will ever need or want, from all the premium brand bag gurus around the world! Have to thank the sister in law for recommending such a jewel to me.
Von's coming home soon - in 11 days to be exact! Can't wait to see her, and Dallen my lil godson! Missed just having the 3 of us around - Man, Von and me... Just for a day though, we'd have each other for company :)
Phone's updated! Time to play with it a little before I hit the sack... Nightie!
1:37 AM | | back to top
to be? or not to be? Wednesday, June 2
Had a 2 hour chat with the boss today and I must say I left the discussion feeling somewhat disappointed in myself, in my abilities and just plain depressed.
The prep talk was basically about whether or not I was able to make sacrifices for what is about to come soon - giving up my family for work. To be an effective manager and an eventual GM, I need to spend more time forecasting future plans, ways to make the company operate better, thinking about things everyone else doesn't wanna think about - finances, marketing & sales strategies, operation effectiveness, liquidity, cashflow etc.
He reckons I'm capable of doing it. Without a doubt. And he's willing to remunerate me well if I can pick up this responsibility.
Now, all that sounds fine and dandy except there is a flip side to it. I usually don't have the luxury of thinking during the course of my day. We're always busy fighting fire day in and out. So the only time I have to really sit down and brainstorm is in the evenings, when no one will bother me with their problems.
And if I spend every evening in the office thinking about what no one else wants to think, I am trading that in for precious time with the kids. Time, which the boss so accurately picked up, is important to me. And he's right; this society has expectations of a mother. And one who gives all her time to work neglecting her motherly duties is usually frowned upon.
But will I give that up for a position of power? One where I know I can triple my salary? Would I shut this opportunity which presents itself, because I wanna be there for the children while they grow up?
I'm depressed because I know it all boils down to my decision. The boss says I can choose to stay where I am and be comfortable in the position; or I could step up to accept this role which he intends to mould me into. But I need to make the decision. Yes, or No?
The hubs says the choice is mine to make and no one should pressurise me to decide. I'm sceptical. Because at the end of the day, his life will be most affected if I'm not around all the time. And that will lead to a whole lot of marital problems which I'm not even gonna go into. Do I wanna complicate my life with more money and a comfortable lifestyle, but marital issues and distance from my kids?
I really can't think anymore... Its like my brain's all choked up and closed off from everything people say.
Sigh. I wish God would tell me what to do.
9:28 PM | | back to top
Insomnia Wednesday, May 12
Its almost 2 in the morning on a weekday night and I'm lying in bed playing with my phone, begging for the eyelids to start drooping. The queer thing is that I'm so sleepy during the day but I can't seem to wanna sleep early at night. What's wrong with me?!
Anyhow since I can't seem to get that stupid brain of mind to cease operations for the next 15 mins at least, here's just something to get off my chest.
I believe:
That when a mistake is made, and it's beyond your control, quit blaming yourself and move on. Conversely, when you have the ability to manipulate the situation but chose not to, then you deserve the tongue lashing or whatever repercussions come with it. It's abit more complex when you have a 3rd party, or what I would like to call "barrier to success". Then the definitions of "whose fault is it?" gets blurer. And it's darn shit when you get buttered for the 3rd scenario.
That respect and trust cannot be given; it is earned. And it is not what you say, but what you do that matters.
That the advice "don't think so much" is the lousiest, most insensitive, patronizing thing to say during another person's time of despair.
That wallowing in the past doesn't bring you anywhere. Because time stands still for no one!
That men with a slight cleft in their upper lip can actually be quite sexy :D
Finally! The eyelids r heavy. Good night world...,
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
2:12 AM | | back to top
Hee...
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
1:51 AM | | back to top
My hubs turns 35! Friday, March 26
Just made it in time to wish you a happy birthday once more! You're snoozing next to me now, and I'm recollecting the events today... A relaxing spa treatment in the morning, lip-smacking eat-till-you-gag dim sum buffet at yum cha, a 3d movie how to train your dragon with my folks, and to end a great day, supper at shokudo.
You know it makes me glad to know we can have a day all to ourselves - eating, talking, relaxing... And one as memorable as your birthday! Maybe if we started the day earlier we could have had time to snuggle up abit! Footnote to self: wake up earlier for special occasions! Especially those i had to take leave for .
Although I know work is always at the back of your mind, thank you for giving me this chance to create some special memories, just the two of us. I really enjoyed myself today, and i hope you did too! We should really do this more often, the you and me time :)
May the Lord bless and keep you. May he shine his face upon you! Have a blessed and peaceful year ahead tatty.
Love you always n forever.
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
12:10 AM | | back to top
The past will never be relived Monday, March 15
I don't know how to bring this important message across to you. All I know is I feel so extremely wronged, but am unable to get my feelings across.
Do you know how they say things that happened in the past makes you a better person today? I believe I am so because of all I had been through. Along the way we win some, we lose some.
Believe it or not, I honestly won't trade what I have today for anything else in the world.
And may I reiterate once more, the past is just that - the past. It happened once in history, and will remain as a distant part of a memory. It will never be relived because the world had moved on. And so did I.
My life is here, with you.
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
12:13 AM | | back to top
When enough is enough. Saturday, February 20
I'm keeping scores.
Me: 0 You: 3
Let's see how much longer this will hold out.
Till then, it's mum for me.
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
2:26 AM | | back to top
Ash Wednesday Wednesday, February 17
It's ash Wednesday today - a day if penance & abstinence. Some say it's a great time to reflect on our own mortality and thank god for blessing us with a rich and filling human life.
I made a pact with god in church earlier on. I told him I would be a better evangelist than I am now in return for helping me with my most worried problem. It doesn't sound very right, this barter trade with god. Afterall he never asks for anything in return. But it doesn't seem right to ask but never give right? So I told god i needed to be more loving, less judgemental, more thinking rather than speaking. And even though I didn't ask for all these directly, I asked to be more cautious and for god to remind me ever so often on the checklist to be a better person.
But I guess he wasn't listening cause no sooner did I leave church, I started having some petty argument with hubs. It seems really ridiculous, the things we argue about. And I finally found the word I was looking for. I'm a SHREW.
He says I'm grumpy, always complaining, never with a good word. Better off not talking. Then perhaps that's what I should do. I mean, if it prevents the arguments right? And I can't believe he said what he said to me in front of a friend! Too shocked to react I just let it pass.
I really need to have some motivation to wanna change things and God, I know that's where you come in.
So help mr, I beg you God.
- BlogPress from Laine's iPhone
11:54 PM | | back to top
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All about Mdm Tjon
Depicts my life and all my loves... That loving hubby, beautiful kids, wonderful friends and satisfying job.. What more can I ask for to get a dream come true?
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my loves :)
The Close Ones
 Manman
Vonnie
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Wishlist
My own home!
0.8ct tw BR Solitaire Earrings
0.7ct BR Solitaire Ring
Balenciaga City in Cyclade
Balenciaga First in Lilac
Miu Miu Mini Bow in Mughetto
Annual Holiday to Korea!
Trip to Bali!
Trip to Japan!
Trip to Europe!
0.8ct tw BR Solitaire Earrings
0.7ct BR Solitaire Ring
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